p r o j e c t i o n

Film Projection

So one day, the local cinema mailing list mentions they're looking for projectionists. I love all things cinematic, so I applied, trained and that's what I did one or two evenings a week a year or so ago.

You have to be kind of strange to like projection. You can watch the film through the porthole but usually you have to crane your neck. There is sound up there, but the projectors go TAKATAKATAKATAKATAKA so it's not really feasible. Aside from loading the films, we also have to do the build-up (putting them together from the shipped 20-minute reels) and tear downs (opposite), rewinding (we don't have platters), advert and trailer reels (inserting incoming material and removing outgoing material).

Someday soon there'll be more detail here. But for now, here are the Things I Learned From Film Projection. By the way, any projectionist who tells you they've never made these mistakes is lying their arse off.

  1. A piece of foil measuring 1 molecule square is enough to trigger the Matrix (a small machine used to automate the projector, lights etc, triggered by small pieces of foil we attach to the film.)
  2. Leaving film NEAR the foil is enough to get the Matrix to trigger (not kidding).
  3. The Matrix does not work at all when it's cold, or when you really need it
  4. The Matrix is really helpful when it works and an absolute swine when it fails (and you forget to de-couple it from the equipment)
  5. The lens and aperture plate will always require changing when you're most busy
  6. Similarly, you'll always drop the aperture plate, and it will skitter off under something inaccessible, when you are ready to insert it.
  7. The one time you accidentally show the SMPTE leader (PICTURE START, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, SOUND START, 3, SOUND BLIP) is the time the boss has gone in to watch the show.
  8. You cannot stop a film during high-speed rewind by throwing yourself at the spool.
  9. Similarly, in a fight between your appendages and the spool, the spool will always win, and you'll have a sore thumb for weeks.
  10. The DTS machine takes longer to sync to timecode the later you remember to turn it on.
  11. Chanting "oh come on you slow thing!" doesn't help with that.
  12. Failing to turn on the take-up spool is something you only do once.
  13. Or twice.
  14. Actually three times.
  15. He Who Loads Far Too Much Film Onto A Spool Will Pay the Price By Suffering Trial By Avalanche
  16. A mangled film can be flattened by running it through the projector twice, but the green scratch marks are there for good.
  17. No matter how carefully you line up the adverts, the film will always require re-framing - EVEN IF you've counted frame offsets many times.
  18. If you have helicopters flying backwards and upside down, it might be a sign you've messed up the splicing and put a reel in reversed. Similarly, people coming back to life sometimes indicates you messed the reel order up.
  19. When you accidentally hit the emergency stop switch on a rewinding machine, you'd be surprised how big a pile 400 meters of film makes.
  20. When you have an accident rewinding ads, it's quicker to cut the film and re-splice it than trying to sort out the resultant mess. Not too often though or you'll end up with more tape splices than actual film.